I-lub-oo...

So this week, for the first time of his own volition, my son told me that he loved me. Ok, it sounds more like "I Lub Oo," (said mostly as one word) but still! I'm am constantly awed at how pure and honest he is, sometimes painfully so. That's what makes these moments so overwhelming. There's no pretense, he doesn't hold back, he just expresses exactly what he thinks/wants/feels right now and as unadulterated as possible. He dances with wild abandon to pretty much any song he fancies. He's very fond of the ABC song at the moment, and that's definitely in the top 10 dance songs at our house. When you watch him, his movements are so natural, he tries new contortions and flailings spontaneously and without self conscious inhibition. What must it be like to be that free? I know I probably was at one time, but it was so long ago and I'm so inhibited by how I hope and fear other people perceive me that I'm never sure I'm myself anymore.

How does that happen? How do we start living outside ourselves so much? What makes us think we should? Is it reversible? I hope so. I think I'm gonna try it.