Ok...I am so tired of this nonsense...

So...I get back from an evening at Chuck E. Cheese...not exactly the type of food I like to feed my family, not exactly the type of entertainment I'm super into but the short of it is that my son had a blast and I had a great time watching him. I log on for my pre-bed Facebook fix and am perusing a friend's posts about the possible healthcare reforms. I'm not really in her camp on this but I make my best effort to respect her opinion. Then I notice that someone I don't know commented on her post saying, "That's what you get for electing a socialist president. Great job America!"

I'm not going to get into some super long explanation for exactly why I find this incredibly stupid, immature, unproductive, short-sighted, narrow-minded and embarrassing. However, can someone please explain to me how it is that we went from having a president who every time he spoke aloud made it more difficult to travel outside of the country without people hating us to having one who seems to be increasing our stature in the rest of the world and yet a huge group of people want nothing more than to go back to what we had before or worse (Sarah Palin)? It seems that a lot of people out there are willing to vote and align themselves politically exclusively based on their own limited understanding of how a given politician might affect the industry they work in. That's a pretty limited criteria for evaluating the health of a nation.

I am fearful of where this country is headed, not because of our politicians on either side of the aisle so much as the division that exists between its people. There are many out there who see this country as having two teams and that you are on one side or the other. I suppose this might be a natural outgrowth of a two party system. The day after the election I wrote a post about how we are not all that different in what we ultimately want. Apparently that post wasn't the earth-shattering, society changing epiphany I hoped it would be. But really people, at what other time in your life have you ever been willing to allow someone else to set up a set of values and opinions for you and you swallow them all hook, line and sinker?

I guess what I'm crying for here is please, think for yourselves. Turn off you talking heads on tv or the radio and think on your own. Evaluate the pros and cons of each plan, of each politician, of each piece of legislation. While you're at it, try to think of someone other than yourself when you do this. Try and imagine what it's like to struggle with something that you've never been confronted with before. It's really easy to be confident in what you believe and what you stand for when you've never had it tested.

As usual, this post is a somewhat disjointed rant. But, I wish that some people out there would just try, just a little to step away from their tradition of intolerance and consider another way of being. Socialist? I am laughing out loud at that one. I don't even have the energy to explain all that's wrong with that statement.

I moved...

Anyone who is bothering to read this probably already knows that I have moved - geographically. Which of course, being who I am, makes me think about how else I've "moved." Most people would describe this move for me as "going home," as I have lived here before and it's quite close to where I grew up. In many ways that's true. In many ways it's not.

When I lived here before I wasn't a college graduate nor did I have a license to practice psychology. When I lived here before I wasn't married, I didn't have a child. I was 21 for crying out loud. I'm 33 now. Am I even the same person? Mostly I am but it's interesting how changing some of those things about the mechanics and make up of my life have changed how I view not only the geography of the landscape but the culture, the people, the values, the politics and the living that goes with it. Places, things and people that seemed exciting, stimulating and fun now seem dangerous and "terrible for families." Places, people and things that used to seem dull, eccentric or uninteresting are now "family friendly," peaceful and comforting. I am finding that I like being places that are familiar to me from my childhood and college days. I am excited to reconnect with events, resources and ideas that are meaningful to me. I also find myself slipping into old habits of road rage and frustration with the density of people.

Having these full circle experiences in life is kind of nice but at the same time reminds me that I'm aging. Having a child makes you think of that a lot anyway, I didn't need the extra reminders. But, the truth is, no matter how hard this ride of life turns out to be, going backward or never changing would never really be satisfying. I am comforted by the fact that I'm capable of appreciating more ways of being not only for myself but for others too. This is because I've "moved."

I believe that thinking and opening your mind is about moving. You go to different places with your ideas and ways of viewing the world and those in it. What amazes me is how many people don't seem to have moved at all, despite having undergone as much change in their lives as I have. How can some who have lived in the same place most of their lives have "moved" but those given every opportunity and resource to "move," never do? I think it's an important question to ask; some of you probably don't, no, some of you definitely don't.

I'm not certain that when I left here 12 years ago that I would have understood how important it would be for me to appreciate differences in the world and more importantly cultivate them in myself. I'm not certain I would have understood how important I think it is for my son to grow up in a world that embraces difference and respects it's necessity for the health of our society. My husband is always saying that being "liberal" (which I guess I am by Fox News's Standards) is an inherently weak position because it is one of tolerance. And, if you believe in tolerance you make room for the bullies who see things in a narrow intolerant way providing space for those who try to eliminate you as an independent thinker. Well, I guess...so be it...I like to move...and those who don't well, you know where to move.

My use of electronic communication might be ruining my life...

Now, I guess I should point out that the medium (a blog) for conveying this message is rather ironic. Regardless I will forage on. Recently I have found myself feeling rather unproductive and short tempered off and on throughout the day for no apparent reason. Well the reason recently became apparent. This past Saturday I decided to be low key and spend the day hanging out with my son at home. We didn’t leave the house once, not even to go the mailbox. I also didn’t turn my computer or ipod on during this time. I spent the day reading, making lunch, eating ice cream, playing trains, planes and automobiles and generally relaxing. We ended the day with a 40 minute soak in the hot tub. I was feeling pretty good as I ushered the kidlet into the shower and shortly after, to bed around 8pm. Then it happened. I turned on my laptop and opened the usual distractions, email, twitter, facebook, cnn, google reader, etc., etc., etc. I immediately felt my sense of peace and accomplishment of a day well spent start to slip away.

Now, being one who subscribes to the tenant that the unexamined life isn’t worth living, I spent some time pondering this. I hadn’t been wasting most of the day, I don’t even spend a majority of my days engaging in those aforementioned computer-based activities. What was it about those things that made me anxious and discontent? Initially I theorized that it was the pressure of keeping up with all of those things, being current, that left me feeling anxious and spent. There is some truth to that but I think there’s more. My hypothesis is that those mediums prevent me not only from living in the moment, but more importantly they prevent me from living in MY moment. With most of those things the initial premise for interacting with them is about me (connecting with my friends, educating myself on current evetents, etc.) but, the end result isn’t. Even when I’m sharing my personal activities through facebook updates and tweets it’s really about someone else reading them rather than about my experience of them.

Basically what I’m saying is that I think a little selfishness and self-focus goes a long way towards being happy. Notice I did say a little. We can’t be all that way and happy can we?

Baggage

This term is thrown around so often and in so many different contexts nowadays that it’s not always easy to know what this term means anymore. Let me tell you what it means to me. Baggage to me is the junk we carry around (literally or figuratively) that in our most insecure moments makes up what we think is reality and who we think we are. I am very deliberate when I indicate it’s what we “think,” in those vulnerable moments; not necessarily what is true.

I realize this sounds complicated. I realize many of you may not have interest in delving into this subject. But it may be worth your time. People change, really they do. Despite the fact that you may believe and feel and act in some of the same ways you did days, weeks and years ago, you’re not the same person you were then. This means you have to make understanding yourself and those around you an ongoing process. This means that sometimes you let go of that baggage you hold onto about yourself and others. It also means you may be disappointed sometimes. They and you may do exactly what they and you did before, but maybe not. Unless you give yourself and others the room, faith, hope and possibility of being different no one never will be, at least not for you in the reality you create.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” It’s true. If you want something different from yourself or someone else YOU have to do something different too. Maybe it’s time we packed up those suitcases with what we’ve always done and incinerate them or something.

One boy's Valentine's Day festivities...

So I dutifully went to the gym this morning, hoping to start my Valentine's Day out right. So, the gym that I go to has an elevated track. Half of the track overlooks the cardio equipment one floor below. The other half overlooks the gymnasium, also one floor below. The cardio equipment was packed and busy as usual. In the gymnasium were a large group of girls, between the ages of 10-14 practicing volleyball. I had been on the track for about 20 minutes when I noticed a young boy, probably about 12, walking in front of me. I was confused to notice that sometimes he would pass me running fairly fast only for me then to pass him a short while later as he was going very slow and kind of hugging the railing. I started paying more attention to his pattern. Eventually it dawned on me. He would run as fast as he could through the section overlooking the cardio equipment then followed by a very slow and attentive stroll that included gazing down into the gymnasium at the female volleyball players. I guess that's one way of enjoying your Valentine's Day! Hope you all have good ones.

When will I stop being so naive?

Generally I don't think of myself as naive. I've seen a fair number of things in my 32+ years. I certainly don't go around expecting the best of people most of the time. However, this last reality check has been a real doozy. Most of you who know me and my family are aware that we've been through some rough times in the last month. I won't reiterate all of the details here but suffice it to say we are reorienting our life in a big way. Those who have put us in this situation have led me to ask the question with which I titled this post. These were my errors:

• I believed the promises they made to me and my family.
• I assumed their interest in me and my family was genuine.
• I gave them the benefit of the doubt when their actions and choices were questionable.
• I failed to heed the warnings their reputations denoted.
• I believed the feelings and energy we had invested in their lives and well-being would be valued.

So...I was had. Now the question is: was it my fault? Should I have known better or would having been that cynical have ruined other things for me?

I'm left with other questions though: when will I stop feeling so hurt, betrayed, angry and frustrated over how I was treated? When will I no longer wake up in the night having imaginary conversations with them trying to help them see how little integrity they have and what a sad existence they have carved out for themselves? When will I look back on this blog post with a sense of peace? When? Anyone have any answers?

Where I work...

So, when I am working (which is only some semesters), I work at Lake Michigan college. The head of the Psychology Department called me today to chat about my upcoming class and see if there was anything I needed. I mentioned how good of an experience teaching there has been for me. She said they needed all the good PR they could muster due to the bad press they had been receiving recently. I hadn't heard of it so I did a little digging. This is article is what I found. Disturbing and annoying.

Who doesn't love monkeys?

As if this video wasn't amusing enough on its own, the Americans interviewed in it are family friends of ours. Enjoy =)

Who we really are...

Dear Friends...regardless of how you voted yesterday. I would appreciate it if you would take the time to read the article linked below that was written by a Republican. For those of you who believe our two party system represents two vastly different segments of society you might want to chat with a few people who voted differently from you and then decide if you really don't share similar values. Whether we like it or not both major parties in the United States tend to be rather centrist. As some college statistics class probably taught you all, deviating too far to the extreme does not align you with very many people (and certainly won't get you elected). Take the time to look back on the early history of our great nation. Our founding fathers rarely agreed, they argued hard and often, but they respected their differences and agreed that the ebb and flow of power being shared amongst all was paramount to our success. We are one nation made great by our diversity...do you agree?

Article:
GOP Viewpoint: We Got the Thumping We Deserve

Is Palin really John McCain's running mate or did she pop out of a cake somwhere and is blackmailing him?

I'm sure it's obvious at this point that during this upcoming election I'm supporting the Obama Biden ticket. Watching the vice presidential debate solidified this choice for me more than ever. I could start and go for quite a while about the things I found disturbing about Sarah Palin in this debate but I'd like to point out a couple of key things.

- Expecting countries who do not agree with our values and policies to agree to conditions prior to to even sitting down and talking with them seems improbable if not impossible and a naive notion

- I suspect that the reason people are asking for drilling has far less to do with turning to domestic energy sources and more to do with people not wanting to pay so much for gas. I mean, come on, none of these people are choosing to not shop at Wal-mart and the like in an effort to buy more American made products and discontinue our DEPENDENCE on Chinese products. I'm all for going local and domestic but let's get real, oil is the least of our worries in regards to dependence on foreign countries supplying our daily needs.

- Tax relief in order to create jobs too often equals tax relief for the rich. It doesn't trickle down like would be nice. Current research definitely shows that the people investing and keeping the economy lubricated is the average American making less thatn $100k per year, not the so called job creators.

- I have a lot of respect and appreciation for people who have served in our military and are convicted and dedicated to protecting our country and its values. However, stating that one man knows how to win a war by virtue of having served during war would qualify a lot of people I know to be commander-in-chief. I'm not really comfortable with that.

- I am afraid for this country right now. Am I really living in a country where a person who conducts themselves like Sarah Palin appeals to any significant portion of the population? We're talking about presidency of the country here people not of the PTA. This is serious!